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      "body": "Congratulations @kanikaagarwal! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :\n\n[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/voted.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@kanikaagarwal) Award for the number of upvotes received\n\nClick on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.\nFor more information about SteemitBoard, click [here](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)\n\nIf you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word `STOP`\n\n> By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)!",
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      "title": "Abusing, Insulting your EX-needs to be stopped",
      "body": "The whole idea of bad mouthing your ex-relationships in front of everyone you know and meet is little immature. It doesn’t make you a bad person if done in the past but you need to understand why you do it or why is not healthy if you continue to do it even now.When our heart breaks when a relationship ends we are left with too many unexpressed emotions. We are left with scars and void to fill, we are left with bitter feelings and pent up anger and many times we try to vent it out by insulting them again and again in front of everyone we know of. No, I am not saying that venting out your anger or emotions is something you should not do, in fact it is the most important thing to be done when you feel hurt but do it in front of people who actually care for you, who really know you, to people you really know of, or care about because those are the ones who will guide you, will listen to you, will help you build yourself up again and rest will just hear it for the sake of hearing it.\n\nYou feel that abusing your EX can make you feel better? No, it does not trust me, been there done that. All it gives you is those few seconds of satisfaction, those few seconds of joy to prove yourself and others that what happened was good. My point if you need to prove it, do it for your own self and not others, you need to believe and trust that you are in a good place now and there was nothing left in that relationship to continue hence it ended. Insulting him/her doesn’t bring the sense of enlightenment. There was a time you were with that person and all you wanted was his well being, there was a time when you could not even bear to listen anything against him be it with family or friends. I have seen people doing it on social media, in their videos or in interviews but I cringe at the idea of it for me the relationship did hold some value at a point of time in my life and just because it over doesn’t mean I have to go on and on to bring that person down. Personal character assassination is not cool, using derogatory statements is not healthy, name calling isn’t cute, insulting and abusing isn’t positive, personal attack is nothing but going low. Ending a relationship is painful, is one of the most difficult things to experience and it will come with its own phases and emotions, feel it all, let it flow. It’s ok and completely normal. Let it all out in front of your friends and family but hold your utmost regard for your past relationship with grace and let it go, let it go slowly with grace because what you say and do says a lot about you.![20535955_10207781228369095_509433715_o.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTUVVEDTfvNhQW8iX2xKzqSbY4KvS52DxwQtYoe5UwE61/20535955_10207781228369095_509433715_o.jpg)",
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      "permlink": "an-open-letter-to-all-women-who-fought-back-their-molesters-and-shattered-the-silence",
      "title": "An open letter to all women who fought back their molesters and shattered the silence.",
      "body": "An open letter to all women who fought back their molesters and shattered the silence. \n\nYesterday, I received a call from one of my interns, she told me how she fought back her molesters a few days back. The teenager was coming back from her college when two men tried to molest her. Without anyone's help, the 19-year-old showed courage, fought back her molester and managed to teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. \n\nShe was traveling in a local train of which the whole compartment was empty when suddenly two men took the advantage of the situation & tried to grope & pin her down. Though she was forcefully embraced by them, she struggled with all her might & didn’t lose her presence of mind. Firstly she shouted at top of her voice for help, kept shouting but as the compartment was empty no one was there to help her, Then she scratched the molester with her umbrella because she knew she can not let them pin her down, so she injured and hit them with her hand bag and umbrella with all force. She kept hitting them and slapping them left and right in a moving train until she saw a station.You see, anger brings out the strength you never thought you had in you. As soon as a station arrived she kicked one of them with all her might at his private part and ran for help. \n\nShe showed sheer courage, instead of getting scared, the brave girl shouted at the top of her voice on reaching the station, hearing which many nearby people rushed to her for help. Thanks to her presence of mind she managed to fight with two men who tried to molest her. She single-handedly fought against them, leaving them wounded and hurt in the end.\n\nShe further went on to explain how her friends have outcasted her from the group after this shaming her instead for what happened. They told her what all she could do and tried to be her well wishers. After hearing this I felt the blood rush to my head, boiling and fuming & anger ran through every nerve in my body. Within that fraction of a second all eve teasing incidents I have read about or heard about flashed in my mind. Being a girl I went numb fearing how difficult it can be for girls who go through such situations. How can a girl shame another girl for the ordeal on which no one has control on? How can we fail to understand the pain & anger of the person going through the trauma? How as the society are we failing where survivors are living a life of worries and culprits are sleeping peacefully.\n\nDo you really think in a situation like this you have any control on? You do what best you can to save yourself from that situation, so how as the society can we dictate what a person should have done instead? Instead of applauding for her brave act, her friends went on to outcast her from their group, are we going a level down in terms of humanity? Do we still need reasons to blame survivors instead of offenders? I think the answer lies within us. Unless women put forward that it is not okay for someone to touch us & get away with it, nothing will change. Until we as a community don’t come forward to support the survivors instead of blaming, bashing them we can not move forward.\n\nWhen someone gets molested they can just bite the bullet and accept that they were teased or molested or they can raise their voice and instil fear in the criminal instead of victimising themselves. If such man has the guts to do something to a girl, he probably started off by doing something less offensive to another girl. Her silence was his encouragement. Remember, every time you choose to ignore or walk away, you put someone else’s life in danger.\n\nI hope it’s a lesson for all girls to fight back in the case of such acts. \nWe often hear about eve teasing, but what makes stories like these different is the immense courage shown by girls who refuse to be called a “victim”. Thanks to their brave act! This is a shout out for all those who have faced similar incidents – being silent is not the answer. Speak up and save others from going through the same.\n\nI urge women to respect their body and know that it’s okay for you to say that someone touched you without your consent and you have to muster the courage to reach out to the police. I insist. Please, for the sake of womanhood – SPEAK UP!![download (1) (1).jpeg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUZJnXkJ8F7pFu9AXip2gSmKekuAX55HMR4bAKqABi7oc/download%20(1)%20(1).jpeg)",
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      "title": "We will miss you Chester Bennington",
      "body": "Why do we only rest in peace why don’t we live in peace- \nHis songs were the first one I heard when I started listening to English songs. I remember not understanding them well enough because my command of the language wasn’t good, so the first time I heard 'In the End’ I could not understand even a single line clearly, I started hearing it again and again to understand the lyrics and what it has to offer and the moment I did, I was in love with the song. I learned the lyrics by heart and I was so so happy to finally learn an English song, next came ‘The Numb’. Yesterday when the news of Chester giving away his life surfaced my news feed, I was like he seemed happy with a healthy lifestyle, he is touring the world, doing concerts which are the full house, is so famous and yet he was unhappy. At that exact moment, only one thing came to my mind when a successful person commits suicide what is real happiness? I am saddened to learn that the person whose music has saved a lot of lives could not save his. He saved so many people going through bad times, his songs helped people combat depression and it’s so sad to learn that no one was there to help him cope up with his own. I am so sorry that we could not save you, Chester like you saved us. \n\nDo we still need the reminder of someone dying to talk about mental health or to understand how important it is? Depression is hard to understand but if it can kill Chester, Chris Cornell it must be pretty damn real, I would say. \nWe need to understand that you can have all the money, fame, cars still everyone is fighting their own battle we never know about, it’s never too late to speak to someone, that one conversation can change your whole life.\nSo let’s talk about mental health, let's ask each other about our fears and what makes ur stomach churn, be there for one another for it is empowering to know we all are in this together. \n\nKindly understand mental health is a silent killer, so whatever is it you are going through know that you matter and you are not alone in this, if you think the world will be a better place without you, you are so wrong. \nKnow I care, we care and please don’t suffer in silence \nFor Chester all I will say is he was so so talented he impacted my youth and it hurts to bid him goodbye. I wish Chester I was there to sing back your songs to you. \n“He tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter”\nRest amongst stars, Star.![20245696_10207718915291307_3868867270939509192_n.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYhuR29uwrupL1eWfwyyUmrqq9J3z5z6bA8RcxqDS9afH/20245696_10207718915291307_3868867270939509192_n.jpg)",
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      "parent_permlink": "domesticviolence",
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      "permlink": "women-need-to-stop-making-excuses-for-a-man-and-his-behaviour",
      "title": "You are not the first who has been assaulted, you are never alone",
      "body": "It’s my own fault, it takes two to make an argument, he accused. He loves me, he assured. It’s not his fault, I provoked him for it. It’s for my own good, he consoled. Wrong! You have not done something to provoke him, and even if you had violence is never ever a choice that a man should make.\n\nWomen need to stop making excuses for a man and his behavior, they need to stop trying to change themselves for a relationship, they need to be educated well to understand that they can not, can not save a relationship which is not meant to be. I often hear them making excuses and saying that “ hold on! it will get better”, oh no! he did it for the first time, he is not like this, he loves me.\n\nMy dear someone who loves you will never ever put you in a position to harm you or mistreat you. If it happened for the first time, trust me it will happen again and it’s not only about the bruises and scars but the pain, the pain of shattered self-respect, the pain of broken trust, the pain of hurt that you need to save yourself from.\n\nIt seems to me that this problem of violence comes from stress, pent up anger, frustration, and all kinds of negativity within human beings, they are so stressed and frustrated that they prefer to vent it out on someone else and often the soft target is someone close, someone, they know who loves them, someone they can go later and make an excuse for their actions. To me, such men are nothing but a bunch of losers and cowards who find excuses for their offense.\n\nI know feeling Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful but never pursue a relationship because you are scared of being alone and never ever stay in one for the same reason. Learn to love yourself first and you won't be scared anymore.\n\nYou are not the first who has been assaulted, you are never alone, you will never be alone, seek help if need be but ladies take care of your own hearts.\nYou have got our back.\nYou know you may feel weak, but within you is the strength to leave, within you is the strength to overcome this violence, within you is the strength to fight against it. \nYou know there is no excuse,\nso do I.![domestic-violence.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSxm4pDyK5aeMuWLCuiBw13vodd7f86fr36EEuFfL5buW/domestic-violence.jpg)",
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      "body": "Agreed. Women can do more.",
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      "body": "It’s my own fault, it takes two to make an argument, he accused. He loves me, he assured. It’s not his fault, I provoked him for it. It’s for my own good, he consoled. Wrong! You have not done something to provoke him, and even if you had violence is never ever a choice that a man should make.\n\nWomen need to stop making excuses for a man and his behavior, they need to stop trying to change themselves for a relationship, they need to be educated well to understand that they can not, can not save a relationship which is not meant to be. I often hear them making excuses and saying that “ hold on! it will get better”, oh no! he did it for the first time, he is not like this, he loves me.\n\nMy dear someone who loves you will never ever put you in a position to harm you or mistreat you. If it happened for the first time, trust me it will happen again and it’s not only about the bruises and scars but the pain, the pain of shattered self-respect, the pain of broken trust, the pain of hurt that you need to save yourself from.\n\nIt seems to me that this problem of violence comes from stress, pent up anger, frustration, and all kinds of negativity within human beings, they are so stressed and frustrated that they prefer to vent it out on someone else and often the soft target is someone close, someone, they know who loves them, someone they can go later and make an excuse for their actions. To me, such men are nothing but a bunch of losers and cowards who find excuses for their offense.\n\nI know feeling Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful but never pursue a relationship because you are scared of being alone and never ever stay in one for the same reason. Learn to love yourself first and you won't be scared anymore.\n\nYou are not the first who has been assaulted, you are never alone, you will never be alone, seek help if need be but ladies take care of your own hearts.\nYou have got our back.\nYou know you may feel weak, but within you is the strength to leave, within you is the strength to overcome this violence, within you is the strength to fight against it. \nYou know there is no excuse,\nso do I.![domestic-violence.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmSxm4pDyK5aeMuWLCuiBw13vodd7f86fr36EEuFfL5buW/domestic-violence.jpg)",
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