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      "body": "![image](https://img.esteem.ws/y3ddpd2b14.jpg)\nThe other day someone was sharing with me an HR rep's experience with interviewing millennials. The chat centered around the frustration HR had with millennial interview etiquette. \n\nThere is a popular narrative around millennials, that they are lazy, they are overwhelmed and underprepared for the \"real world\" because they grew up in a privileged environment where everyone gets a trophy, everyone is a winner and the needs of one, that of the millennial, is greater than the needs of EVERYone. \n\nThe experience of this HR rep, who is also the hiring manager, not only came with this biased narrative, but it also included their personal observation that millennials do not know how to interview for a job, and their priorities have less to do with job responsibilities and more about the perks that could help them to choose one employer over another. So what did these privileged millennials ask about that highly offended this HR rep?\n\nVacation, and a place for them to rest or relax during work. The millennials asked about vacation, which is part of the overall compensation package, and whether the workplace had space to break away from work, throughout the work day. That is what ran through my mind as I listened. Two questions that aren't so out of the ordinary that would cause such frustration from HR. \n\nThe HR rep who experienced this, is an Xer, Generation X, and so am I. Our own generation came with a set of stereotypes: Generation Xers were independent, un-loyal (to employers), angry, and lost souls, to name a few.\n\nThe irony of all this, after listening to this story and how these candidates merely reinforced the HR rep's perspective, is that millennials are the children of Generation X. Their behaviors and the traits she described are a result of their upbringing, a huge part of it. But this isn't about finger pointing and placing blame on anyone, much less on an entire generation.\n\nHere's what I heard from this whole discussion. Biases regarding a generation that is no different than any other generation that carries a certain bag of traits and dispositions. Some people appreciate the bag of stuff; others ridicule and complain about it. HR with specific expectations of the candidates coming in to interview for a job in their company, which is completely within their right to have those expectations. Candidates who ask about topics important to them doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about learning more about their job duties. Maybe they're asking about things that round out the job and company, to give them a better understanding of what it will be like to spend 10-12 hours a day at the workplace.\n\nI'm somewhat disappointed in how the HR rep looked at the interviews, downgrading the potential of the millennial candidates because they asked about vacation and whether the company had space for breaks, to relax.\n\nOther thoughts and questions definitely popped in my head....did the questions rule out these candidates? Does the company website share the perks and benefits of employment? Did the candidates do their homework about the company before interviewing, to get their own answers? And did the candidates ask those questions because they couldn't find the answers on the company website?\n\nI don't spend a lot of time taking points away from a candidate if they're not able frame a question the way I'd like to hear it asked. I want to know the person has the competency and potential growth to excel in the company. I want to make sure the person will help my business grow and be an asset to the team.",
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      "body": "![image](https://img.esteem.ws/ayb2554byh.jpg)I've been seeing this guy, Max, for almost 6 years. We met online, we met in Santa Monica, and there was a peculiar energy between us. Is energy and chemistry the same thing? I don't know, but for me, it was energy. \n\nHe was late to our first date. I am NEVER late to anything. I even called him to before he arrived, letting him know that maybe we could do this another day. That was code for, I don't want to go through with this so can we just cancel. He was not apologetic when I called; he spent the time on the phone explaining to me why he was late. I didn't really care….because I was trying to back out. But his voice was so genuine that I stuck around. \n\nWe made a first date faux pas that day. It was unplanned really, the faux pas, partly because it was our first meeting and you know how those online things are….the first dates are usually awkward and meant to last a very short time. Both parties have to figure out if the chemistry online transferred to on land. Max was shy, but there was energy between us. Anyways, our first date faux pas, was going to see a movie. Strangely enough, it didn't feel weird. We both watched the movie and enjoyed it. I think I even leaned my head on his shoulder a few times throughout the movie. It felt right. \n\nDinner was next. So cliché but like I said, it felt right and it was our first chance to sit and chat and get to know each other. Max spent the entire dinner talking about himself. He's an accomplished DJ, snowboarder, biker and computer nerd. He made sure to tell me everything about him. He will tell you that I said very little, gave him very little indication that I was interested in anything he shared. He will tell you he was giving me his authorized bio in the hopes I could relate to any one of the things that made him awesome, and then we could relate. For me, I was hoping that any point during all this sharing, he would for once ask me, hey what do you like to do, when did you move to LA, how do you like living here, just anything. But he didn't. I could feel his nervousness and it was cute. But apparently he wasn't so nervous that he couldn't get up the nerve to ask me out for a second date, before our dinner plates were cleared. \n\nI said yes. Duh. On the third date, he said he wanted to see where this would go, this energy between us. I wasn't ready for that. I was dating and having fun. We spent that night negotiating, going back and forth. But it was that energy again, that energy between us that made me concede. Six months later we moved in together and began our family. The merging of stuff and beings. He lived like a bachelor, so furniture and grown up stuff we're mostly from me. The beings we merged were our pets. We're both pet lovers. Destiny. \n\nIt's been a rocky road for us. Much of it outside of our control. Our interracial relationship is a problem to no one, except his mother. Who hates me. Yes, hate is a strong word, but it is the best word to describe her feelings towards me. She hates me for taking her son's attention away from her. This ugly side of our relationship has tested our feelings towards each other. It's brought out the ugliness and the beautiful. \n\nBut I digress….I'm sure I'll share more about that side of our lives in future articles. I want to refocus back on us. We're oil and water, hot and cold, we're short and tall. We are everything the other person is not. When people speak about opposites attract, our photos are right next to that phrase. \n\nWe have had some major life challenges in the last few years. We moved our lives to be closer to my ailing parents. Max lost his job and he's in a part of the country that doesn't really do what he does, and vice versa. We are stressed to the hilt, and arguments are always right below the surface, about anything. Yet I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Even when we fight. You're loud, oh I can get louder. You're raging, then just watch me rage. Yet we are still together. At the end of the bout, we're back to together. It's not like we go anywhere to come back together. Our words cut, they cut deep and there's always regret, but we always come back together.  Sometimes my family question what the hell I'm doing. That I'm more stressed than ever. Sometimes I wonder that myself. Every single time I begin to doubt what we're doing, he reminds me why I fight so hard for us. He takes care of me, he cares for my parents, he spends time with my teen niece, listening to her drama, he plays with my sister's babies with such love.\n\nMy life is like that daisy, the daisy that lets you ask, he loves me, he loves me not. I carry that daisy with me, mentally and I'm constantly pulling petals off. I'm always hoping it lands on, he loves me.",
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