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      "title": "母亲节，如何更好地表达我们的爱？",
      "body": "一个“女”人，生了孩“子”，这就是“好”字！首先，渔夫祝已为人母的读者，还有所有读者的母亲们，节日快乐！\n\n今天，不讲道理，讲故事。\n\n昨天，渔夫和一群小朋友在一起，教他们关于母亲节的知识，并让他们在作文中表达想对母亲说的话。我带着6个不同年级的小家伙去超市购物，每个小朋友都要为自己的妈妈挑一份礼物，小朋友们欢呼雀跃，激动不已，超市里商品琳琅满目，他们必须在限定的时间和限定的金额里完成任务。十五分钟以后，活动结束，每个小朋友都收获颇丰，令人啼笑皆非的是，6个小朋友有5个买了塑料菜篮子，有3个买了洗碗的钢丝球，有两个买了水果刀，还有3个买了碗、塑料饭盒。\n\n看得出来，这些都是厨房里用的东西。我原以为他们会买一些吃的用的给妈妈，结果他们都买了妈妈干活用的工具！我猜测，如果以成人的眼光来看，这并不是好的母亲节礼物，因为有可能传达一种“过节还不能体贴关心我本人，还给我送干活的工具，这是要让我多干活的节奏吗？”的感觉。\n\n不过，他们当然不是这么想的，他们想不了那么多，只知道妈妈经常跟这些工具打交道，所以要送给妈妈，在他们这个年龄，只会想到自己经常见到的东西，不管是什么，都代表了他们对母亲的爱！\n\n活动中，有一个小朋友半天不知道挑什么，他说我不知道我妈妈喜欢什么，好像除了我考试得100分她特别喜欢之外，她没什么特别喜欢的。我听了心里一下子感觉被扎了一下，实在忍不住，于是联系了这个小朋友的妈妈，妈妈说不是这样的，妈妈只是在他考了一百分的时候为他感到高兴，表扬了他，因为妈妈不能在他取得好成绩时无动于衷！\n\n所以，其实沟通很重要，不管是小朋友，还是妈妈，从自己这一方传达出去的信息，要被对方完全正确的理解，还真的挺难的！\n\n那我们要怎么把我们的信息传达给对方，更好地表达我们的爱呢？\n\n来看看渔夫表哥的故事！\n\n渔夫有个表哥，自幼学习成绩很好，有名的学霸，大学毕业后在外工作，是姑姑的自豪和骄傲。每次表哥要回老家，姑姑提前几天开始采购，各种好吃的，等儿子回来了，侄儿侄女们也来了，姑姑一个人忙前忙后，蒸炸煎煮烧，红油口水鸡、梅菜扣肉……陆续上桌，比下馆子还丰盛还好吃。这倒也没什么，很多母亲都这样，关键是我表哥。整个过程就跟个客人似的，稳坐钓鱼台，在外面吃瓜子打扑克，悠然自得。有一次我实在忍不住了，我说表哥，你怎么不帮姑姑干点活儿啊，她忙活多辛苦啊！表哥神秘地看了我一眼，“你懂什么，too yong too simple， sometimes naïve，让她忙，忙完她开心，她有成就感！”\n佩服啊！\n高手啊！\n说完了表哥，来说说我妈妈。今天下午，我妈妈就要从老家到我这来了。\n\n要说让我妈过来我这里，还真不容易，之前来过几次，每次都极不情愿，而且待不了多久就要回老家！我是苦口婆心，“你在老家没人照顾你，我们不放心，过来和我们一起，多好啊，这里冬天还暖和……”，我们还买了种菜的塑料盆放在阳台上让她种菜，可任你费劲口舌，她依然不情不愿。\n\n这次好了，很痛快，来！不过也费了些周折，刚开始我爱人打电话，“妈，你忙完了就来这边玩啊！”我妈说：“我过年的时候再去！”毕竟太年轻，too young, too simple. 想起我表哥的招，我突然有了灵感，我不说你来了我照顾你了，我经常打电话说我有多难，下班回家好累了还要做饭刷碗，我想看看书总是没时间，好多时候就吃炒面炒粉炒饭，时不时还拍个照发微信群里。\n\n过了两个礼拜，我说，妈，你过来吧，我们需要你！答应了！\n\n我就问她，为啥你儿媳妇叫你来，你不来啊？她说，“她叫我去玩，玩我才不去呢！”\n\n再讲一个听来的故事。\n\n说有个人的妈妈，七八十了，中风了，老人挺悲观，不积极活动，恢复得不太好。然后这个人呢，就把家里的钟表拨快了俩小时，然后天天假装睡懒觉不去上班，这老妈妈呢，看着儿子这个样，心理着急啊，就慢慢想办法要扶着墙拄着棍，去儿子房间叫他起床去上班。时间一长，竟然慢慢好了。\n\n我们常听到老人说，“老了老了，不中用了！”那我们怎么办呢？我们接受他们的爱，不用太担心他们会辛苦到身体受不了，我们帮他们找到价值感、存在感，我们让他们觉得——他们是被需要的，他们是可以为家人做事的！\n\n让母亲相信，不论多大年纪，她依然被她的孩子们需要！这就是我们对母亲的爱的表达！\n\n那，如果你是一个妈妈，面对你的孩子的时候，你该怎么表达呢？让他们感觉到自己被需要是否依然重要呢？\n\n是的，让孩子们感到被需要依然很重要！\n\n我妈妈有句口头禅——“我不要！”我说，我们去看电影，她说我不去；我说我们出去吃饭，她说我不去……我想应该很多母亲都会这样，不想给孩子添麻烦，把所有的困难自己扛，怕浪费怕花钱，所以她们会拒绝孩子爱的表达！\n\n然而，每个孝顺的孩子，都希望自己有能力的时候，向父母表达自己的爱，我们不应该把他们表达的途径给堵上了！\n\n当你要拒绝孩子的时候，你想想，其实你接受了之后，孩子的心里会更开心，你接受了他们才能完成一个孝顺的孩子的任务，才能开心快乐，你不接受，他们心里则是愧疚的难受的。\n\n对于更小的孩子，让他们感受到被需要，就更重要了，这可以培养他们自主、自信的品质。我曾经陪伴过一个小朋友，在学校里成绩很差，垫底的那种，他很无助。相处了一段时间以后，我问他，“老师想请你帮我一个忙，可以吗？”孩子心里想：“我还能帮老师一个忙？”\n他答应了，问我要帮什么忙，我说，“我呢，有一个理想，我想成为最棒的老师！现在呢，我和你一起学习，你学习好了，别人就会觉得我是最好的老师了！我需要你的帮助！”几个月之后，孩子取得了很大的进步。\n\n心理学家，埃里克森认为，儿童在发展过程中，每一个阶段都需要完成一定的社会心理品质发展的任务，在学龄前期，需要形成自主感，就是自己能够主动去完成、控制一些事情。另一个心理学家阿德勒，写了《儿童教育心理学》、《自卑与超越》等心理学名著，他认为人一生的发展，是与社会兴趣、社群感分不开的，这就是被社会和他人需要、能给为社会和他人作出贡献的需要。\n\n所以，要表达我们对母亲、对孩子的爱，一个原则很重要，让他们感觉到自己被需要，感觉到自己有价值吧！",
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      "title": "消逝的童年：我们该如何看待电子产品对孩子的影响？",
      "body": "为什么要有寒暑假？因为要在老师们疯掉之前把学生送回家！\n为什么要有新学期？因为要在家长们疯掉之前把孩子送学校！\n\n现在，智能手机、电脑、PAD、电视等电子产品越来越深度地影响我们的生活，尤其是智能手机好像已经成为了我们身体的一部分，有的人甚至几分钟看不到手机就会浑身不自在。这些天全国各地中小学大都已经开始放寒假了，没有了学校学习的压力，很多孩子沉浸在电子产品带来的虚幻快乐之中。假期家长们开始和孩子们长时间相处，很多家长不得不为孩子们过度地使用电子产品而担忧、烦恼。\n\n虽然要做到将孩子们与电子产品完全隔绝开来并不可行也并不可取，但对过度使用电子产品的危害视而不见，从而对孩子们的行为毫不干涉、放任自流的做法，并不是一个负责任家长的明智之举。为了引起广大家长的警惕，今天，我们简单地分析一下电子产品的负面影响。\n\n先从一则新闻说起，1月24日，中央电视台早间新闻、东方时空等节目纷纷以“儿童片‘儿童不宜’看”为题聚焦“儿童邪典视频”问题。所谓的“儿童邪典视频”，是指以儿童熟悉的卡通人物形象为幌子，包装制作带有凶杀、暴力、色情等具有危害性内容的影片或动漫，针对群体主要是儿童等未成年人，传递错误认知，教唆诱导未成年人模仿，危害未成年人身心健康。北京文化执法总队队员介绍说：“这些影片它在名称和形态上和原著是有高度相似，当孩子们去看一些很正常的动画片儿的时候，计算机算法它会把这些视频推送推荐给孩子，孩子可能很容易就误看了这些儿童邪典影片，从而对他们的身心造成一种侵害。”\n\n这是一种被恶意修改过的动画片，讽刺的是媒体在曝光的同时也在传播这些画面。退一步说，除了动画片之外，我们的新闻、影视中，充满了大量的战争、暴力、色情画面，孩子们长时间暴露在这样的信息中，会对他们的成长产生不利的影响。1961年，社会心理学家阿尔伯特•班杜拉通过一项波波玩偶实验，证明了孩子们会对看到的暴力行为进行模仿，形成攻击行为。\n\n再退一步，假设，我们能够让孩子们从电子产品上看到的，都是一些健康的、积极的信息，是不是就万事大吉了呢？不是。据“环球科学”微信公众号2017年8月23日的一篇文章，“60年前，中国人口的近视率大约为10%—20%，而今天，90%的青少年都患有近视。”虽然该文驳斥了“阅读、写作和使用电子产品这些近距离工作是导致近视的罪魁祸首”这一观点，但同时指出了“在室内呆得太久可能才是你近视的真正原因”，而过度地使用电子产品，使孩子们宅在家里，不仅仅使近视的可能性增加，还减少了他们参加体育锻炼的几率和时间。\n\n除了身体上，还有心智上的负面影响，主要有三个方面：\n一是想象力，通过电子产品上的制作精良的画面，孩子们不需要自己去想象一些东西，而如果他们读到一段文字描绘“春水出生，春林初盛，春风十里”，他们会在脑海中“脑补画面”，这个过程是锻炼想象力的过程，但电子产品直接剥夺了他们的这项权利；\n\n二是思考力，电子产品大多呈现画面和声音，图片展现的是一个状态，每一格的画面都只是一个东西，它就在那里，不是观点、没有逻辑、大多是感官的刺激，引发的是情绪和生理反应，无法深入到思考的层面，相比而言，文字却可以展现推理的过程，更适合思考能力的锻炼；\n\n三是注意力，电子产品提供的影视、广告，可以在瞬间变化大量的镜头、角度，使得孩子们越来越适应这种“快速变化的刺激”，而对一些需要专注的相对枯燥的事情，难以集中注意力，而有些枯燥的事情又是成长路上不得不面对的课题。\n\n当然，我们不得不承认，电子产品为我们带来了便利。但是，电子产品再美好，都不过是我们人类智慧发明的工具，工具是用来为我们服务的，我们不能让电子产品反过来骑在我们头上，奴役我们思考和行动。\n\n当然，我们还不得不承认，电子产品为我们提供了大量的信息。当今的时代，人人都是“信息孤岛”，这个孤岛不是说信息不与外界联通，而是周围全被海量的信息环绕。老子说，“五色令人目盲,五音令人耳聋,五味令人口爽”，太多的信息或许会产生“乱花渐欲迷人眼”的效果。\n\n真正的信息，应当是能够引发我们思考、行动的信息，我们应当关注的是信息的深度及其对我们的影响——信息行动比。\n\n媒介文化大师尼尔波兹曼在《童年的消逝》中指出，“电视时代，一切信息都能够在成人和儿童之间共享，成人和儿童之间的界限逐渐模糊，儿童几乎都被迫提早进入充满冲突、战争、性爱和暴力的成人世界，‘童年’正在消逝。”\n\n在互联网时代，这一现象更甚！我们“不得不眼睁睁看着儿童的天真无邪、可塑性和好奇心逐渐退化，然后扭曲成为伪成人的劣等面目，这是令人痛心和尴尬的，而且尤其可悲！”\n\n所以，对于孩子们使用电子产品，建议家长们做到三点：\n\n一是控制时间；\n二是精选内容；\n三是带头示范。",
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