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      "body": "![whispering-large-752x490.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmbNRAmnfSbb4CJVcuAaUy62PkfkF3CsvHmegNy42k2BJA/whispering-large-752x490.jpg)\n\n\n\n\nFor those who are unfamiliar with the term MORMON, it refers to those who belong to the religious organization: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.\n\n\nIf you follow the news at all, then you probably have heard about that group of Mormons in Southern Utah and Arizona (FLDS), who isolate themselves from the world, wear gingham dresses, shun technology, priavtely educate their children, worship their prophet as Gods mouthpiece on earth, practice plural marriage... oh and also force underage girls into unwanted marriages, complete with all the unwanted marital \"duties.\"\n\nhttps://www.biography.com/people/warren-jeffs-20771031\n\nJust for clarification...\n\nThat is a sect of Mormonism that has been fully denounced by the mainstream Mormon church (LDS).\n\nModern Mormons do not practice plural marriage, nor do they endorse or tolerate the marriage of underage children.\n\nFor the most part, the modern Mormon is very much like the modern anything else.  They hold normal jobs, they drive normal cars, and live in normal houses.  Some are wealthy and powerful -- Think Mitt Romney our once and future King  -- But most are just .... average.\n\nThere are a couple of things that Mormons do differently though. \n\nStatistically speaking, Mormons have more children, marrying more often (and younger), and are more likely to marry someone within their own faith. \n\nhttp://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/05/22/mormons-more-likely-to-marry-have-more-children-than-other-u-s-religious-groups/\n\n\nMormons are also teetotalist , meaning they refrain from any kind of alcohol.  They also do not drink coffee, or partake in any illegal drugs. \n\nAnd, like many of their Christian compatriots, Mormons believe that sex and sexual relations are to be strictly reserved for marriage.  If a Mormon has sex before marriage, then they must undergo what is known as \"disciplinary action\", which requires the involvement of ecclesiastical leaders (Bishops, Stake Presidents, Area Authorities) .  The problem with these procedures, often times, is that the action taken against the offending Mormon is subjectively applied at the discretion of the individual leader. \n\nSo basically, you, as a Mormon, could have premarital sex and end up with a slap on the wrist, while your Mormon friend could do the same thing, and end up getting excommunicated (Having your membership in the church terminated). \n\nOf course, that's really only if you have actual sex sex. Most of the time, if a Mormon engages in things like Oral, or Handsy stuff, the repercussions will be less severe.\n\nSometimes.\n\nThat all being said, Mormons are just as horny as any other population of the human race, and who knows, maybe even more so due to the repression aspect.  \n\nIn truth, Mormon kids, young adults, adult adults, \"mess up\" all the time -- And really, that should come as no surprise to anyone.\n\nWhat MIGHT surprise you, however, are the weird things that some Mormons do in order to justify getting their rocks off.\n\nTo boil it down to an overly simplified formula, a lot of Mormons believe that as long as the \"P\" doesn't go in the \"V\", then you haven't really had sex. Put even more simply, they draw the line at penetration.  \n\nThat's not too weird -- I think that is how a lot of people classify \"actual sex.\"\n\nBut the thing is, if you are a Mormon, you aren't supposed to be doing any of that other stuff either. \n\nThat \"other stuff\" list includes (but is not limited to):\n\nPassionate Kissing (The kind that gets you aroused)\nPetting\nLight Petting\nHeavy Petting\nNecking\nTouching Naughty Areas Over The Clothes\nTouching Naughty Areas UNDER The Clothes\nAnd Yes, Boobs are Definitely considered \"Naughty Areas\"\nKissing Someone Of The Same Gender PERIOD\nLying Down Together While Kissing\nDry Humping\nLevi Loving\nDry Sex\nAnd any other poorly named description of the simulation of sex with clothes on (A favorite among Mormon youth)\nOral Sex\nHand Jobs\nAnal Sex\nMasturbation \nThe Viewing Of Porn or Pornographic Materials\n\nAnd pretty much everything else that most people did before they graduated from college ... maybe even high school.\n\nAgain, don't misunderstand, Mormons do ALL of that stuff. \n\nIn fact, when it come to Porn specifically, it has been suggested (and refuted) that Utah, with the highest percentage of Mormons per capita, also has the highest percentage of paid porn subscriptions. \n\nhttps://www.deseretnews.com/article/705288350/Utah-No-1-in-online-porn-subscriptions-report-says.html\n\nAgain, this may not be particularly surprising to those who understand human behavior, especially when it comes to sexual repression. \n\nIt's like when you go on a diet and you tell yourself that you can no longer have cookies.  The second you do that, your mind will automatically become obsessed with the idea of cookies.  You fixate, you ruminate, all you can think about is how much you want a stupid cookie.  And so, you give in, you \"cheat\" on your diet by having one cookie.  But of course, now that your diet is \"ruined\" you might as well eat the entire bag of cookies ... which you do ... which is why diets don't work.\n\nIt's the same with cookies as it is with \"cookies\" -- And Mormons love \"cookies\" just as much as anyone else, but they aren't supposed to be eating them until they get married. Which, if you think about it, really sucks for those Mormons who don't meet someone until they are well into their 30's ... or maybe never at all.\n\nSmall wonder then that a lot of Mormon youth try to find ways to justify taboo sexual behavior. \n\nThe oddest story I have personally come across, is the phenomenon which has it's Urban Legend roots in a college town called Provo (Utah). There are actually 2 Universities within miles of each other, both filled to the brim with Mormon college students. One of them is even owned and operated by the LDS church (BYU).  On paper, BYU  (Brigham Young University) is where you would want to send your kid if you are Mormon, and you want them to go to a Mormon school.  And very much like the church itself, BYU has a strict \"Honor Code\" that must be followed, under penalty of explosion and denial of already earned credits. \n\nThat's right.  BYU will actually freeze your credits so that even if you transfer to another school, all the work you did won't go with you.\n\nMorality is serious stuff at BYU, so perhaps it isn't surprising that it is at BYU that we find one of the more odd Mormon sexual practices. \n\nThat is ... if you believe the stories...\n\nIt has several names, and I'm guessing that you will probably be able to figure out the act purely based on the fun little titles its been given.\n\nSome call it \"Docking\" -- Some call it \"Soaking\" -- Others call it \"Marinating\" -- And someone really clever dubbed it \"The Provo Push.\"\n\nEssentially, this is where a male enters a female, (either full or partial penetration)  and then just ....stays there.\n\nNo moving.\n\nNo thrusting.\n\nProbably no talking, I'd imagine. \n\nJust ... hanging out ...inside ... until .... ????\n\nI'm sure you must thinking, \"This is still technically sex, but literally without any of the actual benefits of sex.\"\n\nAnd you'd be correct.\n\nThe \"P\" is going in the \"V\", which means the act of sexual intercourse has occurred by most reasonable measurements -- And yet ... in theory at least ... if there is no movement, then technically speaking (in their minds at least) it isn't actually having sex?\n\nPerhaps they are drawing the line at Orgasms. \n\nSide Note: I forgot to add Orgasms to the list of Premarital No No's.\n\nBut here is the really odd thing.\n\nTo most of the rational world, when you choose to engage in a sexual act with someone, you do so fully prepared, or at least, you should be. \n\nThis means you've both been tested for STD's, you are both consenting, and you are taking the proper precautions in order to prevent pregnancy.\n\nSeems pretty reasonable right? Pretty common sense?\n\n I once heared a Mormon say that the reason that they were choosing to not wear a condom, was because they felt like if they did, it would be tantamount to them condoning the act, which they felt like they couldn't (shouldn't) do.  \n\nSo basically what they are saying is that sex to them is like murder, and a condom is 1st degree, and unprotected is manslaughter. If you wear a condom, then it means you premeditated the act, but if you just continue to have a lot of unprotected \"Oops Sex\", then it shows that you acknowledge that what they are doing is wrong.\n\nUnderstandably, I get a lot of slack jawed head shaking from the people I tell this story to . \n\nIt may not make sense to anyone on the outside, but trust me, it makes total sense to those who are doing it.\n\nWhat is sad though, is that places like Utah, who push the idea of abstinence in schools instead of sex education, are now experiencing a dramatic rise in the number of STD's and unwanted pregnancies.   In fact, the STD rates are higher in Utah than they are in either California or Florida.\n\nhttps://www.cdc.gov/std/stats16/default.htm\n\nSo as funny and interesting as these little Mormon Sex(isms) might be, they are also just one symptom of a perhaps outdated approach to sexuality, that perhaps deserves a second look as the church attempts to evolve and thrive in today's cultural climate. \n\nJust a thought.\n\nI would love to hear what you think? What are some of the weird ways you have heard of people trying to justify sex?",
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      "body": "@@ -930,18 +930,17 @@\n ng we ha\n-ve\n+d\n  gone th\n@@ -966,18 +966,17 @@\n ng we ha\n-ve\n+d\n  meant t\n@@ -1777,16 +1777,180 @@\n o say.%0A%0A\n+Not out loud --Unless you want to -- But at least in your mind -- Over and over and over again.%0A%0A%22Horseshit%22.....%22This is Horseshit%22......%22So much Horseshit%22.....%0A%0A\n Because \n@@ -4008,22 +4008,22 @@\n eathing \n-person\n+entity\n , with n\n@@ -4252,16 +4252,30 @@\n  action \n+and treatment \n in order\n@@ -5262,17 +5262,16 @@\n  it. The\n-y\n  WHY isn\n@@ -5503,18 +5503,14 @@\n ile \n-and\n+to\n  see\n-ing\n  how\n@@ -5737,16 +5737,16 @@\n 's it.%0A%0A\n-\n The rest\n@@ -5758,16 +5758,19 @@\n oing to \n+be \n nothing \n",
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      "body": "Someday you are going to find yourself in a relationship.\n\nMaybe it is a long term thing, and maybe it is just the beginning of something potentially long term.\n\nYou are going to be cruising along, thinking everything is great -- that you are both on the same page -- both working towards a bright future together.\n\nAnd then, suddenly, and without warning, your significant other is going to pull the plug on the whole operation. \n\nDepending on the kind of person you were with, you might not even get the courtesy of a text message, never mind an in person conversation. \n\nThat sucks. \n\nA lot. \n\nBut honestly, in the long run it is probably better than those who get the sit down, come to Jesus, \"Why I have decided to end things\", conversation. \n\nAnd look, I get it. I've been that person my whole life. That person who needed to know WHY, and HOW, and WHAT could I have done? I feel entitled to the explanation, given everything we have gone through, and everything we have meant to one another. I thought the conversation would give me the closure I needed to move on. I thought it would make me feel better about the person I loved rejecting me.\n\nBut it never did.\n\nSo listen close my dear dumpie, because I am going to tell you something that is going to change your life. \n\nThe next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a break up conversation, I want to you to do one simple thing. \n\nAs your former lover attempts to pour out their heart to you about how much you still mean to them, and how much they still really care about you, and how much they really hope you can still be friends, all I want you to do is repeat one word over and over again in your mind as you smile and nod empathetically.  \n\n\"Horseshit.\"\n\nThat's it.\n\nThat's all.\n\nThat's all you need to say.\n\nBecause really -- You honestly don't need to hear ANY of the rest of what they have to say.\n\nTrust me, what they have to say is not for your benefit. It's for theirs. They aren't saying this stuff because they care deeply about your feelings or the relationship they just decided to haphazardly walk away from.  The only person they are thinking about is themselves. They know they are doing something pretty shitty, and they don't want to feel like a shitty person, and they don't want you to think they are a shitty person, so they are going to say whatever they need to in order to assuage their own shitty feelings about themselves.\n\nYou don't need to hear any of it.\n\nIn fact, you so don't need to hear it that, if possible, you should really try and avoid the whole conversation in the first place.\n\nHere is the only thing you need to know.\n\nThe ONLY thing you need to ask.\n\nRepeat after me...\n\n\"Do you still want a romantic relationship with me?\"\n\nNot FRIENDSHIP,  not BUDDY, not FACEBOOK FRIEND, not FRIEND WITH BENEFITS...\n\nDo you still want a real invested romantic relationship with me?\n\nIf they say no -- Walk away.\n\nIf they can't give you a straight answer -- Walk away.\n\nIf they try and renegotiate the terms of what it actually means to be in a \"real\" relationship -- Walk the HELL away.\n\nHere is the thing about relationships.\n\nThey are hard enough when BOTH people are fully invested and fighting for them.\n\nSo long as both parties WANT to be there, then you are free to talk about the details and the dynamics, because, again, you BOTH ....WANT....to be there.\n\nBut the second one person decides it's over, then their reasons, and excuses, and validations have nothing, zip, zero, nadda to do with you. \n\nAnd even IF it is entirely your fault that the relationship is ending, then it STILL doesn't matter what they have to say about it. \n\nLook at it this way. \n\nWhen you and your soon to be ex were both in it to win it, it was like you were both highly skilled surgeons, and your relationship was like your joint patient. It was a living breathing person, with needs, and wants, and it required BOTH of you to take care of it. But one day, maybe your patient gets sick. In your mind, this means that it is time for you and your co-doctor companion to sit down and figure out a plan of action in order to save the life of your patient (relationship). So when your companion decides to abruptly terminate the relationship, it is tantamount to them euthanizing your patient without consulting you first.\n\nAnd who knows, maybe that puppy deserved to be put down, but that's not the point.  The point is that THEY chose to take relationship ending action without consulting you. Without giving you the chance to make changes, or improve the situation. They just grabbed a nice thick syringe full of death juice and shot it straight into the vein of your relationship.    \n\nTrust me, if they wanted to save that patient, they would have. But they didn't. They killed it. They literally killed it without asking you how you felt about it. They didn't consult your expert advice, because they didn't care enough to. They were done treating the patient, and they decided that it was time for them to die. \n\nSo again I say, it matters no 2 red shits what they have to say about WHY they did it. They WHY isn't going tot bring the patient back. You asking them WHY is not going to bring them back.  And this whole, \"Let's be friends\" horseshit ... is tantamount to you guys pulling the dead corpse out of the closet every once in awhile and seeing how it's decayed, as opposed to doing the honorable thing, which is to give it the proper burial it deserves. \n\nThe ONLY thing you need to hear from your person, is that they are no longer interested in continuing on.\n\nThat's it.\n\nThe rest is going to nothing short of their attempts to Jedi mind trick you into believing that you didn't just waste the last (insert amount of time here) of your life with a person who was obviously not as invested in this thing as you were. \n\nAgain, they are doing this to justify their actions to you, and to themselves, and you need not be any part of it. Let them justify it to themselves on their own time. You don't need to hear it. Nay, you do not WANT to hear it.\n\nYou deserve better.\n\nYou deserve someone who is going to fight for you patient, for your relationship.  You deserve someone who is going to look for a solution that doesn't involve jumping ship at the first sign of rough waters. You deserve a doctor who looks for cures, and not the easy way out.  You deserve someone who actually does give a shit about what you have to say about the whole thing BEFORE a decision like that is made.\n\nYou deserve better.\n\nNow DEMAND better.",
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      "body": "Someday you are going to find yourself in a relationship.\n\nMaybe it is a long term thing, and maybe it is just the beginning of something potentially long term.\n\nYou are going to be cruising along, thinking everything is great -- that you are both on the same page -- both working towards a bright future together.\n\nAnd then, suddenly, and without warning, your significant other is going to pull the plug on the whole operation. \n\nDepending on the kind of person you were with, you might not even get the courtesy of a text message, never mind an in person conversation. \n\nThat sucks. \n\nA lot. \n\nBut honestly, in the long run it is probably better than those who get the sit down, come to Jesus, \"Why I have decided to end things\", conversation. \n\nAnd look, I get it. I've been that person my whole life. That person who needed to know WHY, and HOW, and WHAT could I have done? I feel entitled to the explanation, given everything we have gone through, and everything we have meant to one another. I thought the conversation would give me the closure I needed to move on. I thought it would make me feel better about the person I loved rejecting me.\n\nBut it never did.\n\nSo listen close my dear dumpie, because I am going to tell you something that is going to change your life. \n\nThe next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a break up conversation, I want to you to do one simple thing. \n\nAs your former lover attempts to pour out their heart to you about how much you still mean to them, and how much they still really care about you, and how much they really hope you can still be friends, all I want you to do is repeat one word over and over again in your mind as you smile and nod empathetically.  \n\n\"Horseshit.\"\n\nThat's it.\n\nThat's all.\n\nThat's all you need to say.\n\nBecause really -- You honestly don't need to hear ANY of the rest of what they have to say.\n\nTrust me, what they have to say is not for your benefit. It's for theirs. They aren't saying this stuff because they care deeply about your feelings or the relationship they just decided to haphazardly walk away from.  The only person they are thinking about is themselves. They know they are doing something pretty shitty, and they don't want to feel like a shitty person, and they don't want you to think they are a shitty person, so they are going to say whatever they need to in order to assuage their own shitty feelings about themselves.\n\nYou don't need to hear any of it.\n\nIn fact, you so don't need to hear it that, if possible, you should really try and avoid the whole conversation in the first place.\n\nHere is the only thing you need to know.\n\nThe ONLY thing you need to ask.\n\nRepeat after me...\n\n\"Do you still want a romantic relationship with me?\"\n\nNot FRIENDSHIP,  not BUDDY, not FACEBOOK FRIEND, not FRIEND WITH BENEFITS...\n\nDo you still want a real invested romantic relationship with me?\n\nIf they say no -- Walk away.\n\nIf they can't give you a straight answer -- Walk away.\n\nIf they try and renegotiate the terms of what it actually means to be in a \"real\" relationship -- Walk the HELL away.\n\nHere is the thing about relationships.\n\nThey are hard enough when BOTH people are fully invested and fighting for them.\n\nSo long as both parties WANT to be there, then you are free to talk about the details and the dynamics, because, again, you BOTH ....WANT....to be there.\n\nBut the second one person decides it's over, then their reasons, and excuses, and validations have nothing, zip, zero, nadda to do with you. \n\nAnd even IF it is entirely your fault that the relationship is ending, then it STILL doesn't matter what they have to say about it. \n\nLook at it this way. \n\nWhen you and your soon to be ex were both in it to win it, it was like you were both highly skilled surgeons, and your relationship was like your joint patient. It was a living breathing person, with needs, and wants, and it required BOTH of you to take care of it. But one day, maybe your patient gets sick. In your mind, this means that it is time for you and your co-doctor companion to sit down and figure out a plan of action in order to save the life of your patient (relationship). So when your companion decides to abruptly terminate the relationship, it is tantamount to them euthanizing your patient without consulting you first.\n\nAnd who knows, maybe that puppy deserved to be put down, but that's not the point.  The point is that THEY chose to take relationship ending action without consulting you. Without giving you the chance to make changes, or improve the situation. They just grabbed a nice thick syringe full of death juice and shot it straight into the vein of your relationship.    \n\nTrust me, if they wanted to save that patient, they would have. But they didn't. They killed it. They literally killed it without asking you how you felt about it. They didn't consult your expert advice, because they didn't care enough to. They were done treating the patient, and they decided that it was time for them to die. \n\nSo again I say, it matters no 2 red shits what they have to say about WHY they did it. They WHY isn't going tot bring the patient back. You asking them WHY is not going to bring them back.  And this whole, \"Let's be friends\" horseshit ... is tantamount to you guys pulling the dead corpse out of the closet every once in awhile and seeing how it's decayed, as opposed to doing the honorable thing, which is to give it the proper burial it deserves. \n\nThe ONLY thing you need to hear from your person, is that they are no longer interested in continuing on.\n\nThat's it.\n\nThe rest is going to nothing short of their attempts to Jedi mind trick you into believing that you didn't just waste the last (insert amount of time here) of your life with a person who was obviously not as invested in this thing as you were. \n\nAgain, they are doing this to justify their actions to you, and to themselves, and you need not be any part of it. Let them justify it to themselves on their own time. You don't need to hear it. Nay, you do not WANT to hear it.\n\nYou deserve better.\n\nYou deserve someone who is going to fight for you patient, for your relationship.  You deserve someone who is going to look for a solution that doesn't involve jumping ship at the first sign of rough waters. You deserve a doctor who looks for cures, and not the easy way out.  You deserve someone who actually does give a shit about what you have to say about the whole thing BEFORE a decision like that is made.\n\nYou deserve better.\n\nNow DEMAND better.",
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      "body": "![too soon.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXGEx9aL6iVsWBRSVzg3WeDwEfMfze8v4UhQ5Sw1pYvz8/too%20soon.jpg)\n<p>&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>The &nbsp;other day, I was listening to a podcast, and one of the host starting &nbsp;talking about people who start to decorate for Christmas before &nbsp;Thanksgiving has even had a chance to get going. &nbsp;You know these people. &nbsp;They &nbsp;are the ones who can't wait for the designated month to get the Holiday &nbsp;started.&nbsp; They decorate Christmas trees in October, and they leave &nbsp;those trees up until February. &nbsp;They just can't let the Holidays go. &nbsp;They &nbsp;cling to them like some sort of last root before the whole ground gives &nbsp;way. &nbsp;They have the socks, the plates, the door wreaths, the scented &nbsp;candles, and the Holiday cheer to go along with it. &nbsp;These are the &nbsp;same people who start blasting Christmas music in their cars the second &nbsp;the summer officially ends. &nbsp;They are unrelenting. &nbsp;They are insufferable. &nbsp;Don't you just hate <em>those people</em>? ........................................&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Why?&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Why do you hate them? &nbsp;Why do you walk into a store in October and immediately have to comment about how they,</p>\n<h2>\"ALREADY HAVE THE CHRISTMAS SHIT OUT\"?</h2>\n<p>Why does this anger you so? Now &nbsp;-- I'm going to guess that the vast majority of people who complain &nbsp;about this sort of stuff don't REALLY put much emotional investment in &nbsp;it. &nbsp;It's more that we just all really enjoy the sound of our own voice &nbsp;complaining, and this is yet another opportunity to bask in our own &nbsp;self-righteousness. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>Hell -- that is pretty much the entire content of my blog.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>But for those who get really upset, and I mean <em>reeeaallly</em> and truly upset by people doing the Holidays \"the wrong way\" -- I just gotta know...WHY??? &nbsp;What &nbsp;is it about the act of celebrating a Holiday early, or \"out of turn\" &nbsp;that you find so morally reprehensible? Does it have some effect on how &nbsp;you are able to enjoy your own Holidays? Does it haunt your dreams? Do &nbsp;you fall asleep muttering</p>\n<h3><em>\"But it's only October....it's only October....\"</em></h3>\n<p>Do me a favor, and go ahead and watch <a href=\"https://www.cbsnews.com/videos/christmas-comes-early-for-boy-with-terminal-cancer/\">this short news clip </a>for me before we move on. &nbsp;You guys. &nbsp;I don't know if you know this but...life can be really <em>REALLY</em> &nbsp;shitty sometimes. &nbsp;&nbsp;I mean like so shitty that you question what the hell &nbsp;the universe or any benevolent higher power was thinking when they &nbsp;baked up this whole idea. &nbsp;When I watched that video, I bawled, &nbsp;like --&nbsp; not like sweet glistening tears -- I ugly cried, with snot, &nbsp;because ....my God....how could you not be moved by that? &nbsp;But in case you are still unmoved, <a href=\"https://www.today.com/health/utah-town-celebrates-halloween-christmas-early-boy-terminal-cancer-1D80239814\">give this one a try.</a></p>\n<p>I DEFY you to not sob like an infant after watching that. &nbsp;Yes -- these are the extreme examples -- but in truth -- and I am sorry to sound so glib ...We are ALL dying. &nbsp;What &nbsp;happened to those beautiful children is the definition of unfair. &nbsp;&nbsp;All &nbsp;the potential never realized, all of the life they will never get to &nbsp;live. &nbsp;These are the stories that gut us from the inside, and unite us as &nbsp;communities to acts of compassion and love. &nbsp;Life is ....so fragile ....so short....and sometimes....just.....so hard.</p>\n<p>So what's my point?</p>\n<p>My point is simply this....If putting up Christmas lights two months early makes someone happy then SO WHAT? &nbsp;If celebrating Halloween ALL year long makes someone happy then SO WHAT?? &nbsp;These things, these...<em>trivial</em> and <em>menial&nbsp; </em>things &nbsp;that bring a momentary smile to our faces, or distracts us from the &nbsp;shit storm that is life at times....why do we begrudge people these &nbsp;things? Truly, don't we have better things to worry about? Don't we all &nbsp;have people we could be loving better? Goals we could be working &nbsp;towards? Entire chocolate cakes we could be eating???And along &nbsp;those lines -- I know it will be easy for people to say that a child's &nbsp;dying wish is different from a basic white bitch who can't wait for the &nbsp;PSL to finally return at Starbucks....but you know what? We know jack &nbsp;shit about that BWB, or what her life really looks like. &nbsp;And honestly, &nbsp;even if her life has been one enchanted unicorn fart after another, why &nbsp;does her excitement over beverages even register on your radar?&nbsp;</p>\n<p>So I say....If &nbsp;you want to put up a tree one month early, or leave it up the entire &nbsp;year, then do it! If you want to sing Christmas songs in July, DO IT!!! &nbsp;Do the things that make you HAPPY, that give your life JOY, that make &nbsp;you SMILE, or help you to cope with the hard stuff. Because the truth is &nbsp;that someday, you, I, and everyone who is currently living on this &nbsp;planet are all going to be gone, and within the span of a few &nbsp;generations, largely forgotten. 100s of years from now what will it have &nbsp;mattered if we celebrated Christmas for one day a year, or the ENTIRE &nbsp;year? It won't.&nbsp; I guess what I am saying is that....we only get &nbsp;one go at this. Some of us will get 80 years, and some of us don't make &nbsp;it 8 hours. There are no guarantees, no magic bullets, no negotiating, &nbsp;and no amount of money that will save you from what is coming for all of &nbsp;us.And knowing this, then why are some people so keen on &nbsp;dictating to others over such.......trivial and inconsequential things &nbsp;like <em>Christmas Lights</em>?!If it's not your thing, fine. But &nbsp;it is so......uncharitable to try and take away the little things that &nbsp;bring joy, to whatever extent, to others.That's it. That's my point. Once again it comes down to, <em>Don't be a dick</em>.This &nbsp;Holiday season, let's all try and remember that we are ALL family. We &nbsp;are all fragile hairless monkey's trying desperately to figure this &nbsp;whole life thing out. We are on this tiny spinning blueberry of horrors, &nbsp;and yet we have managed to carve out meaning and purpose from it all. &nbsp;We have found things that make us....happy....if only for a moment. &nbsp;Let's not rob one another of those moments yeah?Consider it your Christmas present to me.</p>\n<p>Anxiety&nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "<html>\n<p>Years ago I wrote a post about my struggles with a long-term eating disorder, and how I was finally able to turn a corner on it.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><a href=\"http://anxiouswhitevirgin.blogspot.com/2013/05/is-beauty-like-art-or-nba.html\">Here is a link to that post</a> -- if you are so inclined. To date, it remains the most read/circulated post of my entire \"writing career.\"</p>\n<p>The response to this personal story about my severe struggles with weight, food, and body issues was so immense that I realized just how NOT alone in this struggle I was. &nbsp;I know right now, as I type these words, there are literally thousands of women (and men) who are killing themselves on a treadmill, or hungry as hell because their new diet plan only allows them so many calories for the day, and they have already maxed them out. &nbsp;I know there are young girls out there grabbing whatever loose skin they can find on their already diminished forms and cursing the God that made them.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>That was me only a few years ago. Honestly, it feels like another life time ago now. &nbsp;At the time of my addiction, I honestly and earnestly never thought that my life would or COULD ever be different than what it had been for so many years. I could not conceive of a day where I would be able to look at my naked form in the mirror and not feel disgust. To be honest, there were many years where I refused to look at myself naked at all. I could barely look myself in the eyes, let alone the thighs. I <em>hated</em> the image of the person I saw gazing back at me. I wanted to be someone else. I wanted to look in the mirror and see the girl that I saw in my minds eye. &nbsp;As weird as it might seem...there were times when I would look in the mirror and literally not know who it was I looking at. Not in an amnesia sort of way, but in the sense that the image in the mirror was SO different from the girl I saw in my mind that my brain couldn't make sense of the incongruity. It was a complete rejection of myself, and of reality.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>All of this might come as a surprise to those who knew me at the time. &nbsp;For the better part of my 20's I was caught in a vicious cycle of food deprivation, over exercise, and then when my body couldn't take it anymore, binge eating. I was obsessed, I was frenzied, I was so incredibly....unhappy. &nbsp;To the outside world however, I was the sarcastic wise-cracking quirky girl who seemed to have no problem getting a date or getting up on stage in front of &nbsp;a packed house. &nbsp;I was also deeply religious, and totally devoted to my faith. &nbsp;I was a student, an employee, and a budding writer. I loved things like parties, social events, going country dancing every Thursday night, and I had an amazing circle of good friends.</p>\n<p>On paper, there was nothing wrong with my life, and yet, I hated myself and at times living seemed to be more trouble than it was worth. &nbsp;Not because I didn't love life, but rather, I hated the fact that I had to be ME in this life. &nbsp;Behind the veneer of confidence I was a sad little insecure girl who wanted desperately to be loved, but at the same time found it preposterous that anyone <em>would</em> love me. I knew I was a decent person, I knew that I had qualities and attributes that many would consider to be \"attractive\", but none of that mattered because, for whatever reason, I believed myself to be totally unlovable. It would only be later in life that I realized that one of my biggest mistakes was to project this false belief directly onto my physical appearance. Does that make any sense? Basically, I hated myself because I felt myself to be unlovable, but the lie I told myself was that the reason I believed myself to be unlovable was because of my physical appearance. This false belief not only prolonged my struggles by distracting me from the real issues, it also served to provide me with another lie, which was if only I could get down to X amount of weight, or be a size 0, THEN I would finally be worthy of the love I so desperately wanted.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>This mentality might help to explain why it is that I never got married in my 20's the way so many Mormon kids do. &nbsp;You know that whole thing about not being able to love someone else until you can truly love yourself? Well that's kinda true, but also kinda bullshit. What I came to discover is that is that you absolutely can love someone else even if you don't love yourself....BUT good luck trying to make a relationship work.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Now, I am not going to lie, I know I broke my fair share of hearts back in the day. I haven't always been on the receiving end of rejection, but I certainly have had my fair share. &nbsp;Now as I look back, I wonder how many of the men who rejected me did so because of my self-esteem issues. Conversely, I wonder how many of them stayed were more interested in me for the exact same issues. I can tell you that there was at <em>least </em>one guy who cited my poor self-esteem as to why he was ending things. &nbsp;This was of course months after he had ended things and there was literally an ocean between us -- but still he told me to my \"face\" that he ended things because he felt like he got cheated. &nbsp;He said that when we first met I seemed like this sassy confident girl, and then throughout our relationship I became this simpering insecure thing, and that made him no longer attracted to me.</p>\n<p>To be fair, this guy was kind of an asshole. Nobody in my family cared for him, and when he left me, there were more than one or two sighs of relief from the peanut gallery -- but I loved him. I was SO in love with him -- and you know what? He wasn't entirely wrong. &nbsp;I was insecure. I spent our entire relationship just <em>waiting</em> for him to leave me because it was \"obvious\" that he was \"out of my league\", and I felt as though I had some how \"fooled him\" by getting him to be with me in the first place.</p>\n<p>Like I said....It was a dark time for me.</p>\n<p>Every break up only solidified my paradigm. Every rejection only served to remind me of how unlovable I really was. &nbsp;Unfortunately, after each heart break I would double down, refocus, and get even deeper into the pursuit of \"the perfect form,\" because again, I had deluded myself into believing that the reason I was unlovable and that people kept leaving me was because I wasn't pretty enough, or skinny enough. &nbsp;So every time a relationship ended, it only served to make me even more obsessed with my physical appearance, a thus would spurn the deeper decent into addiction and suffering. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>A lot of times, when it comes to people who struggle with eating disorders, it is said that even though the obsession focuses around the body, it really has nothing to do the body at all. I believe that this is absolutely true.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>What it really comes down is the need to feel in <em>control </em>of some aspect of our lives. And it makes sense. The world is chaos, life is chaos, love is chaos, and we are all just trying to figure out a way to navigate through the shit storm that we call existence. &nbsp;It makes total sense to me that a girl who feels like she has been largely powerless for most of her life would cling so hard onto the one thing she feels like she does have control over -- namely her weight.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Here is just a sample of my mentality back then:</p>\n<blockquote>I may not be able to change my childhood, or my family, or anything else in my life...but by God I can be thin...and maybe if I am thin enough then I will finally be worth loving...and then maybe someone will want to keep me forever instead of just use me for a night. Maybe I will finally be worthy of real love....and maybe...maybe then I will love myself too.</blockquote>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Notice how I was falling into that oh so stereo-typical thought trap of believing that I had to be externally validated before I could validate myself. &nbsp;I had to <em>be</em> loved before I could <em>feel</em> lovable. &nbsp;&nbsp;I mean, it's not totally unreasonable to think that I suppose. At the time I figured that self validation was largely useless if the end result was that I was still alone.</p>\n<blockquote>Why the hell does it matter if I love myself if nobody else does? What does loving myself do for ME? I can love myself all day long, but if nobody else loves me then I am still alone. Loving myself would be great if it was my opinion that mattered, but it's not. It doesn't matter what I think about me, it matters what others think about me because they are the ones deciding whether to take me or leave me.</blockquote>\n<p>I think it is also important to note that when you are a person who feels so totally broken, you also tend to be a person who believes that they need someone not only to \"take them\"....but also to <em>take care of</em> them. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>Again, this took me years of therapy and hindsight to figure out, so go easy on yourself if you are just starting to figure all of this out. &nbsp;Also, just get comfortable with cliches'.....trust me, there are going to be a lot of them that absolutely apply to your situation that you are going to reject at face value (just like I did) because you believe yourself to be the exception to the rule. &nbsp;We all think we are so unique in our sufferings, and in our neurosis.....but we aren't....generally speaking.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I know a lot this &nbsp;makes no sense to a person who has never been through something like this, but I can tell you that when you are in the throws of addiction, you can make the most insane thoughts sound perfectly reasonable. You can also find a way to justify every single destructive thing that you do -- because make no mistake, I knew that what I was doing was hurting my body, but I justified that because I never had to go into an \"In Patient\" program, and never wound up in the hospital, I figured that whatever I was doing I was \"getting away with.\" &nbsp;Maybe I was. Maybe I could have kept going on like that for years and years without anyone knowing, and without any major medical issues. I'm glad I didn't of course, and not specifically because of the physical risks, but because of how dead I had to make myself inside in order to hate myself that much.</p>\n<p>In fact, in terms of turning points for me, I have to say that it wasn't until I was able to see myself as <em>not</em> myself that I was finally able to treat myself the way that a person deserves to be treated....namely with love, consideration and respect. &nbsp;It wasn't until I was literally able to visualize \"Me\" standing outside of myself that I realized how abusive I was being to me. &nbsp;As weird as it might sound, I find it extremely helpful in situations like this to picture yourself as a child, and then step outside of yourself and look in on that child as your adult self. I know, I know, this is all sort of froo-froo and pop psychology. I'm not saying that you need to set up an empty chair and pretend your child self is sitting there and have a conversation. That would be weird. Just try and look at the way that you treat yourself, &nbsp;and ask yourself if that is how you would ever treat a child that was trusted to your care. &nbsp;In most cases, if you wouldn't do those things to an innocent child, then you probably shouldn't be doing them to yourself. &nbsp;Of course, you have to use your adult judgement when it comes to certain things that no sane adult would &nbsp;ever allow a child to do (like sex), but I hope you get the idea.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>As me, standing outside of myself, looking in on myself as a little girl, I for the first time felt the sheer horror that comes when you realize that you have been doing serious damage to another human being. &nbsp;It just so happened that that \"other human being\" was me. &nbsp;At that moment the separation the distinction was enough that I could no longer allow <em>myself</em> to do damage to this \"other person\" anymore. &nbsp;I knew that it was my responsibility to take care of her &nbsp;because I knew nobody else would. &nbsp;If not for me, this girl was going to continue to waste away physically, emotionally, and mentally until there was nothing left. &nbsp;And as meta and frankly ridiculous as this is going to sound....Even though I had been able to justify hurting myself for YEARS, I couldn't bring myself to justify hurting <em>her.&nbsp;</em></p>\n<p>And so began my long journey back to health.</p>\n<p>It's been over 6 years now, and I can honestly report that I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin, a feat that I NEVER thought would be possible. I'm not saying that I don't have bad days here and there, but considering my whole life used to be bad days, this is pretty incredible. Before, I could never conceive of a reality where I could get dressed without thinking about my weight, or eat a bowl of sugary breakfast cereal and not think about how I was going to have to \"repent\" for it at the gym later. &nbsp;And while we are on the subject of gyms...There was a point during my recovery where I basically refused to set foot in a gym or any other kind of organized fitness center because it was such a trigger for me. &nbsp;I told myself that I would return to the gym when I no longer felt that compulsive need to go. &nbsp;It's the difference between, I <em>have </em>to go to the gym, and I <em>want</em> to go the gym. And guess what? I didn't step foot in a gym for over a year. &nbsp;I am not going to say that I am free from all compulsion, and I am not going to say that I feel particularly good about myself when I eat junky foods, but mostly that is because junky foods make me feel junky, and I don't really like feeling junky.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>That being said, nowadays if I want a donut, I am going to eat a donut. &nbsp;If I was pizza 5 times in one week because that is the only thing that sounds legitimately good to me, then pizza it will be. &nbsp;I don't beat myself up about crappy foods on a moral level, because I realize that eating crappy foods has nothing to say about my moral character or my worth as a person. &nbsp;It might mean that I get diabetes someday, and if that ever happens, I will have to own my part in getting me to that point.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>I wish that there was some way to bottle this idea and sell it to people instead of whatever whack-a-doo diet they are on currently......This idea being that if there is ONE thing I know to be true about humans and human nature it is this.....and if you take nothing else away from this post I hope you hear this....like....<em>really </em>HEAR this.</p>\n<p>The very moment you tell yourself that you CAN'T have something, be it a certain food, or groups of food, or sex, or a day off, or a healthy relationship, or a positive body image, it is in that exact same moment that you will become totally, utterly, and completely obsessed with whatever it is that you believe that you can't have. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<p>This is, in my opinion, why any diet, however well-conceived and well-intentioned will never work. &nbsp;It may work in a short term situation, and it might have to work if your life depends on it, (such as in the cases of food allergies and diabetes) but in general, whatever it is that you try to avoid you will heap onto your head ten fold. When you tell yourself you <em>can't</em> have something, something in your brain freaks the fuck out and sends up every alarm you have and every impulse hormone available in order to convince your brain that the thing you can't have is the ONLY thing that is going to make you happy. Also, when you finally do \"cave\" and give into the forbidden fruit, I would bet the farm that you are going to indulge in that thing past the point of excess.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>For example, if you tell yourself you can't have cookies, then all you are going to want is cookies, and so maybe you go a month without cookies, all the while you are spending day and night obsessing about cookies, reading cookie recipes, walking by bakeries just for the sniffs, and then finally one night you have a \"weak moment\" and you go out and by a box of your favorite cookies, and instead of eating one or two, you eat the whole damn box because your brain knows that if you don't eat the whole damn box that you are going to punish you by taking away the rest of the cookies and not allow you to have cookies again until you can \"behave.\"</p>\n<p>Sound familiar at all?</p>\n<p>That's the bad news....But there is also good news. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>If you are anything like I was, then you believe that, left to your own designs, you would end up ballooning up the size of a zephyr, while eating nothing but cookies, and pasta, and Crisco straight from the can. &nbsp;You believe that you can't trust yourself with something as important, and as complex as your diet. &nbsp;You believe that in order to stay at a healthy weight you have to deny yourself of the foods you love and spend hours upon hours each week sweating on cardio equipment and pushing weights around. You believe that you have to count calories, or carbs, or macro nutrients, or stars in the sky in order to shed \"those last 10lbs.\" But most of all, you believe that if you let up just even a moment....if you let yourself just eat what you want, and exercise when you want, then you are going to lose control and spring board miles past any sense of sanity.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Or, going back to the prior analogy....You believe that you have a naughty child that lives inside of you that <em>you</em> must constantly parent, restrict, and control, lest they run a muck and eat everything in the entire house. It's a fair analogy. Have you ever tried to tell a child no? Go ahead. See how well that goes for you. Tell \"yourself\" that you can no longer have sugar starting ......Now.....and just feel your blood pressure start to rise. Notice how the only things that sounds good to eat are things that are riddled with sugar. Even better, give yourself a timeline to stick to...an end goal...you know...like putting a child in time out.</p>\n<p>You see, you are already treating yourself like an unruly child, you just didn't know it.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>But wait...I said there was good news didn't I?&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Well you are just going to wait until the next post to learn more about how I believe it is possible to stop the cycle of obsession without sacrificing your health or your waistline. &nbsp;I know it's possible because I am doing now. And trust me, when I was where you are now and somebody tried to tell me how \"possible\" it was, I literally wanted to punch them in the throat. &nbsp;I thought they were liars. Bold faced liars trying to sell books. Well, I don't have a book to sell, but I do have a desire to see some of the madness around me disappear.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Honestly, I sort of feel like I have a moral obligation to tell people that they don't have to be miserable anymore -- at least -- not in this regard. &nbsp;But the thing is...I knew I couldn't talk about this until I was sure that I was truly recovered myself. Also, it took me YEARS to get to this place, and I can already bet that the vast majority of people reading this just saw the word YEARS and promptly stopped listening. &nbsp;I am not saying that YOUR process is going to take years, remember, I was coming from a pretty dysfunctional place. &nbsp;You might not have as far to go as I did. I hope you don't.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>So I guess I will just leave it at that for now. I hope that you will join me for part two of this post wherein I will go into more detail on why diets never work, and why that is actually the best news of all.</p>\n<p>Take care. &nbsp;<br>\n</p>\n<p><br></p>\n</html>",
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      "body": "Well thank you! Hopefully someday others will like it too!!",
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      "body": "[![SEEWHATYOUDIDTHERE.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQma8eB9d2BZs2F59A56kRnU3rxZj3qjwP46L91HezPhYnr/SEEWHATYOUDIDTHERE.gif)](https://steemit.com/@fitzgibbon)<br> I like it so much, in fact you got an upvote!",
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      "body": "<html>\n<p>Meet Odin</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/DQmdCfX22HqVu9DyMrFYDxZNFavfGFev5StdWdtGfB6sbDK/odinbaby.jpg\" width=\"960\" height=\"960\"/></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Odin joined my family about 3 months ago. He is a healthy and (in my humble opinion) beautiful Bernedoodle. For those of you not hip to the doodle jargon, a Bernedoodle is the intentional breeding of a Poodle...</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://i.pinimg.com/736x/10/ac/1c/10ac1c985a8f45b4704260002c3cd800--black-standard-poodle-standard-poodles.jpg\" width=\"510\" height=\"444\"/></p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>And a Bernese Mountain Dog...</p>\n<p><img src=\"http://www.powderkegbernese.com/Gigi%20and%20Utah%202%2016june.jpg\"/></p>\n<p>With the end result being this magical creature.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/DQmVL6SCeeurjMHjPfNFrFg4XC1omBWUkEfz2sps3Uw6Nq8/odinpup1.jpg\" width=\"720\" height=\"960\"/></p>\n<p>Yes -- I am one of those crazy dog people, who thinks my dog is my actual child and treats them as such. I love Odin with my whole heart, and now that he is here, I can't image him not being a part of my life. &nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>Before I got Odin, I did a crap ton of research on all of the different dog breeds. I myself grew up with Standard Poodles (pictured above) and loved their temperament, their intelligence, and the fact that they didn't shed. My dad was allergic to dogs you see, and so we were very limited to the kind of dogs we were allowed to have. Back then, Doodles weren't really a thing -- I mean -- they were -- but people weren't necessarily making them on purpose. &nbsp;Nowadays Doodles are all the rage, and with good reason.</p>\n<p>Research is starting to show us that not much unlike the royals of Europe, pure bred dogs tend to have a lot of inbreeding in order to keep the line pure, which leads to.....issues....</p>\n<p><img src=\"https://steemitimages.com/DQmRY1v8CCy5h1biLBxzVyssS6duiG9PPGdEoPfkRvA1ZcG/Funny-Prince-Charles-Pulling-Face-58666.jpg\"/></p>\n<p>And while purebreds are still very much in demand, the \"mutts\" are what the people want.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><br></p>\n<p>In general, mixed breed dogs tend to be healthier, and free of a lot of the genetic disorders that are common among the purebreds. &nbsp;Not only that.....</p>\n<p>But they are freaking adorable.&nbsp;</p>\n<p><img src=\"http://cdn.earthporm.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/cross-breed-dog-4__605.jpg\"/></p>\n<p>For all these reasons and more, when it came time for me to get a puppy, I knew I wanted a doodle of some sort. Not because it was trendy, not because my favorite celebrity owned one, or because someone else told me to get one -- I did my own research, combined with my own experience growing up with Standard Poodles, and concluded that a doodle was my best option.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>https://steemitimages.com/DQmTZ3NY8GziJCJWiiB9GGVgyFkB33Es1xZZuPqc9cVc4QB/daisyodin.jpg</p>\n<p>There were other factors to consider as well.</p>\n<p>I like big dogs. The bigger the better. Part of the reason I was opting for a doodle mix was because I knew there was the potential of getting a larger result. &nbsp;My dog is not only my companion, but also my protector, and my PTSD Aid. I have terrible panic attacks, and I knew I needed a breed that was both intelligent enough, and compassionate enough to deal with me during one of my melt downs. &nbsp;Like I said before, Standard poodles are damn smart -- like the second smartest breed of dog in the world next to the Border Collie. I also realized, that much to my dismay, I developed my father's dog allergies later in my adult life, and so unless I wanted to spend the next 10-15 years sneezing my ass off, I had to either get a poodle, a doodle, or another hypo-allergenic breed.</p>\n<p>Are you starting to get the picture? I did a lot of research. My decision to get a dog was thought out well in advance of me actually going out and getting Odin, which when it happened, sort of felt like lightening striking.</p>\n<p>I had had my eye on this particular breed for a while, but unfortunately, the only breeder I knew of was in California and there was a wait list of about 2 years, on top of the hefty price tag of over 5k. Five grand for a dog.....ouch. &nbsp;I can't afford that, and so I starting considering other breeds and other options. &nbsp;Then one day I was on a local classifieds page (specifically for dogs) and I happened upon a woman who was trying to sell the last 3 of her enormous 12 puppy litter -- And right there....starring at me with those soulful brown eyes....was Odin. My heart exploded. I couldn't believe my fortune -- some random woman out in the middle of nowhere Utah was selling my dream breed. A beautiful Bernedoodle male.....the last one! &nbsp;I called her immediately and told I would be down in the morning to look at him, and the rest....is history.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Oh, and in case you are wondering...I paid $1,000 for Odie. The pups we originally $1,500, but since he was one of the last (and the runt of the litter) he was less expensive. &nbsp;&nbsp;Oh, and in case you are even more curious....typically speaking these more desirable doodle puppies range anywhere from $1,000 to $2,500 -- and this is from \"backyard breeders\" as they are commonly know. All that means really is that someone with a dog decided to breed their dog and have puppies, and then sell them -- Which....in general ....is how a lot of people get their dogs. &nbsp;There are of course pet stores and puppy mills, but it seems like most dogs are either the result of the intentional or unintentional impregnation of the family pet. &nbsp;I've known this for a long time, and it's never bothered me. &nbsp;If not for these sorts of people, I would never have found Odin. &nbsp;I myself plan on studding Odie out once he is old enough and I can be sure he is healthy enough to do so. &nbsp;As part of my stud fee, I would be given first pick of the litter, which I also intend to do so that Odin can have a life long play mate. And of course I am going to name him Loki ....because....I'm a nerd.</p>\n<p>So why am I telling you all of this? Well, firstly I hope it helps educate those who might not know a lot about the different breed options, or those who are possibly looking to get a pup themselves.</p>\n<p>Oh, that's one thing I forgot to mention....and here is where the title of this piece comes into play.</p>\n<p>After I brought Odin home I had several people (friends and strangers) ask me where I got him and how much I paid for him. &nbsp;I don't mind telling people how much I paid since I figure they are curious because they are considering a puppy as well. I also don't mind telling people that I got him some nice old lady who breeds dogs out in the middle of nowhere because I would love for everyone to get exactly the kind of dog they want, and, if after seeing Odin they decided they want a Bernedoodle, then more power to them.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>What I didn't anticipate, however, was the backlash of righteous moral indignation I would receive from individuals who are obviously much more altruistic than I am.</p>\n<p>Before I go on...let me say this...</p>\n<p>I have a lot of respect and admiration for people who decide to adopt dogs from homeless shelters and humane societies. I recognize that there are a hopeless amount of abandoned and abused dogs out there who desperately need good homes. I myself have visited these shelters on numerous occasions, and every time I do, I turn into a weepy mess of a human because it literally breaks my soul to see their sad eyes pleading at my from inside of their tiny sterile boxes. &nbsp;Even thinking about it right now makes me a little misty in the eyes. &nbsp;So again, I love and respect those individuals who choose a shelter pet as their \"furever\" friends.</p>\n<p>That being said.....</p>\n<p>I feel like it's a pretty shitty thing to do when a person guilts, belittles, or is condescending to a person who chooses NOT a shelter animal. These are also the same people who try to make you feel like garbage because you don't drive a hybrid car or recycle every piece of garbage you own.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>And just because it makes me happy....Watch this....</p>\n<p><a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQLbakWESkw\">ELECTRIC CARS AREN'T AS GREEN AS YOU THINK</a></p>\n<p>Yeah....yeah.....anyway...</p>\n<p>I find it extremely odd and disturbing that the people who claim to be super altruistic sometimes turn out to be the biggest douche canoes. &nbsp;You might be surprised how many intense eye rolls I have received from people after telling where I got Odie and how much I payed for him. Here are just some of my favorite \"altruistic\" responses.....</p>\n<blockquote>You know that there are literally hundreds of dogs at the shelter right now who need homes.&nbsp;</blockquote>\n<p>Yeah I do, and you know what, if I had seen Odin staring at me from behind those bars I would have snatched him up in a New York minute. I didn't give a flying fetch where he came from, I just knew what kind of dog I wanted. &nbsp;And I don't know about shelters anywhere else, but in my city our shelters are chalked full of pit mixes and labs, neither of which would have made a suitable companion FOR ME. &nbsp;There is also the problem of the fact that most dogs in a shelter are several years old and I needed &nbsp;and WANTED a puppy for several reason. I wanted him to bond with me as a parent, and I needed him to be young enough to train for the services I need him to provide. Again, I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to buy a dog. I have specific needs and considerations, and if I had found a puppy at the shelter that had fit those criteria I would have bought him.</p>\n<blockquote>You are just adding to the problem. There are already enough dogs here. Let's take care of the ones we have before we support bringing new ones into the world</blockquote>\n<p>OK, let me first say that if you are a person who owns a dog that you never intend on breeding, then you are being negligent by not getting your animal fixed. I'm not sure if people quite understand the concept, but sex leads to babies, and animals are pretty much just breeding machines. &nbsp;They don't sit down and have a moral conversation with themselves about whether or not this is the \"right time\" for them to become a parent.....they just go and <em>Do</em>. &nbsp;So again, if you have no plans to responsibly breed your pooch (or kitty for that matter) then taken them down to the local shelter and they will fix them for FREE. FOR FREE. You know why? Because they are sick of all of the irresponsible humans using the excuse of expense to keep them from being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.</p>\n<p>Also, I am not saying it is never justified, but I &nbsp;personally have never dropped a dog at the shelter. I look at pets as family members, and the same way I am not going to drop my mother in a home the moment she pees herself, I am not going to abandon my dog the moment they become inconvenient for me. &nbsp;The reason we have so many dogs and cats and bunnies in shelters is because apparently there is a huge population of humans who lack impulse control or foresight and run out and get a puppy because they think it will be \"fun\" only to realize that puppies are worse than babies in many regards, and all of a sudden it isn't as \"fun\" as they thought it was going to be and so they decide that the dog is no longer \"their problem\" and then drop them off at a shelter and expect the rest of society to be responsible for them. No skin of their ass right? I mean, if nobody takes them then the shelter will just put them down, which they will never have to see and be emotionally scarred by. And make no mistake, if you are a person who has &nbsp;ever had to put down an animal that you loved, there is literally nothing worse. I have had to do it once, and I will be forever traumatized by the event. &nbsp;I literally can't even think about it without getting nauseous and overwhelmed with grief. &nbsp;</p>\n<p>So how dare you tell me that I am part of the problem? The ass hats dropping their dogs at the shelters are the problem. And you know what else? Without breed shaming, I am just going to say that there are far too many aggressive breed dogs at shelters that SHOULD NOT be going home with people -- and especially people with children. If I had a nickle for every time a shelter dogs description read, \"Not good with children or other pets\" I could have built a dog out of nickles. &nbsp;Do I feel compassion for those dogs? -- obviously. But do I feel a moral obligation to take one into my home? No I do not.</p>\n<p>Also -- this idea that we shouldn't be having more puppies until the ones we have are taken care of is tantamount to telling someone that they shouldn't have their own biological child because there are plenty of kids to adopt already. &nbsp;Or better yet, what if a person couldn't have their own kid and decided to go through a surrogate program instead of going to an orphanage? Are you going to give them shit? Are you going to tell them that they are wrong to want a baby that they can raise from the beginning? Are<em> they</em> part of the problem of over population? Or is it the irresponsible, and reckless group of people who have children they never wanted nor had any intention of raising in the first place? Not all foster children come from those kinds of people, but a LOT of them do. &nbsp;So instead of belittling those who are responsibly raising children REGARDLESS of where they came from, why don't you instead go hand out some condoms and teach sex education to the thousands of people who either don't know, or don't care how babies are made.&nbsp;</p>\n<blockquote>Backyard breeding is immoral. It is criminal to charge that much for a puppy</blockquote>\n<p>First. Market Value. People pay what they are willing to pay. Inflation is a real thing. The price of puppies has gone up over the last 20 years because the price of literally everything else has gone up too. &nbsp;Do you know how expensive it is to responsibly breed a litter of puppies? Do you know how much hard work goes into it? The cost of the materials? The shots? The vet visits? The loss of sleep and sanity? And let's get one thing clear, there is a world of difference between a responsible home breeder and a criminal puppy mill where animals are living in their own feces and crammed in cages from ceiling to floor. &nbsp;There is also a difference between a responsible home breeder and some yahoo that let's their unfixed dog roam the neighbor and get pregnant every heat cycle. So if someone decides to invest the time, money, and energy that it is going to take to responsibly breed and raise a healthy litter pf puppies, then who the hell are you to tell them that their asking price is criminal. If you don't like/can't afford their price, then don't buy from them. Capitalism.....fascinating. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>\n<blockquote>Your \"designer dog\" is elitist</blockquote>\n<p>No. My \"designer dog\" is exactly what I wanted and needed in a dog, and in a companion.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Tell me something....what kind of car do you drive? I assume that when it came time to buy a car you researched how many of each specific car was on the market, and then chose the car that there were more of in order to help with population control. Oh you didn't? Well then I suppose you went down to the used car lot (because obviously you would never buy new) and you simply pointed at the first car you saw regardless of it's history or potential mechanical issues. Or you didn't? Huh.....</p>\n<p>So you are saying that when you decided to make an investment in something that was going to be a part of your life for the next 10-15 years you took the time to research all of the factors that go into such an investment, and then you went out and found exactly what you wanted?&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Interesting.</p>\n<p>But <em>I'm</em> the elitist right? I am. Because of a dog. Because I am responsibly raising a beautiful healthy puppy, whom I am never going to dump onto the tax payers because I got bored with him. <em>I'm </em>the elitist.....naturally.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>How about this.....I won't tell you how to live your life, or have children, or buy a car, and you stop telling me how more altruistic you are because your mutt came from a shelter, and I payed $1,000 for my mutt from a responsible breeder. &nbsp;Then we can both take our new children to the dog park and they can enjoy one another's company, not giving a single fuck where the other one came from.&nbsp;</p>\n<p>Deal? &nbsp;&nbsp;<br>\n</p>\n<p>&nbsp;</p>\n</html>",
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